His memorial was on the 15th. There were over 200 people there to help celebrate his life. I saw all his high school friends, church friends, family members, even our tattooed biker group of friends. There were punk kids, preppy people, goths... We used to joke about how eclectic our group of friends was.
I tried so hard not to lose it. But when our family friend sang https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xwzItqYmII , I started to sob. I know Matt is in heaven, but the pain of being left here is almost too much to bear.
I thought the funeral would bring a peace, a sort of healing. All it has done as made me acutely aware of how much I miss him. I can hardly function. My dad keeps asking me how many shifts I'm going to work this week. I don't even know if I'm capable of going back to work now.

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My mom died 4 months ago

My mom had pulmonary fibrosis. She was sick for a few years. It was funny how when my grandmother smoked, my mom would always say-I’m gonna die from second hand smoke. My mom never smoked. She died from lung disease. Ironic.I was fine at the funeral. Planning. Talking to everyone. I thought u handled it great. Now 4 months later, I’m a mess. Some days I’m perfectly fine, but others I can’t walk down the street without crying. I keep thinking that I haven’t talked to her in a while & I…See More
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My dad was the best human I’ve ever known.
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