My older sister. A shaping tool, like the one wood carver's use to make sculptures. 

We never realize it but sometimes the people who get underneath our skin the most...like an annoying sibling who has absolutely no fear of telling us exactly what they think of us, are the best thing that could happen to us. It's only when they're not there anymore you realize that every time you scraped yourself against them in a debate or a squabble, they were shaping you in ways you didn't even realize.

They'll teach you to find your voice and boy can they teach you to use it :) I'm older now but when you're growing up and insist you want to try drinking and partying, they'll let you have a go of it, watch over you while you hurl, then tell you when it's time to stop. They'll never let you take it too far and they'll tell you when it's time to get serious and let go of the childishness. She made sure that the world never got a hold of me for too long and she made sure I knew the difference between right and wrong. She let me do the things I wanted to do because she knew if she didn't, I'd do it anyway, but she also made sure she was there so I would know the way home. She also knew that one day I would be ready to grow up and I would need her to steer me. She did.

And I did find my way.

A little while back she'd told my little brother that few people had impressed her and made her proud with the changes they'd made in their life the way I had.

I felt so proud, I felt like someone had given me a gold medal or something!! I think she would have been very surprised if she knew that most of the changes came from watching her and learning from her, that what had made her so proud, what she saw when she looked at me...was simply me learning from my older sister and the result of how I interpreted her. She was looking at me...looking at her :)  ...and learning. 

You did good sis...you did good.

I miss you like the way the earth would miss the sun if it didn't rise in the morning.

You will always be my best friend.

Wendy.

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