Melodie Gill
  • Female
  • Greenwood, IN
  • United States
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About Me:
I am nearly 50 years old, recently lost the love of my life and finding it difficult to define myself without Thomas. I am a medical provider and feel good about my work which brings me some solace and a feeling of contribution. However there is emptiness inside of me that makes the rest of my life seem bleak and narrow.
About my Loss:
Thomas was diagnosed with lung cancer May 1st and was relieved of his suffering Christmas Day, 2014-8 months, 3 weeks and 2 days after the news. It's still shocking he does not answer his cell phone nor return messages. He does not pull in the driveway at 6:15 nor does he ask me to "pop the kettle on" for his morning tea. I am grieving for my mate, my best friend and the love of my life. It makes the future feel empty when the memories are so spectacular.

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Melodie Gill's Blog

Am I expecting too much from our friends?

I have heard it so often..."Your friends will disappear, you will no longer fit in with the other couples."  Thomas swore this would not happen to me.  He convinced me this would not happen.  But now that I've hit the 6 month mark, it has happened.  I've felt some of our closest friends easing away from me, but then I would see them and felt it must have been my imagination. No, it was real.  I believe the time has come that they must feel it more comfortable without us.  Time for them to…

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Posted on July 11, 2015 at 3:57pm — 3 Comments

Communications

Am I the only one who feels my loved one sends me messages, hears his voice in my head and very occasionally feels the sensation of his touch?  For instance, I now drive Thomas' car and cars were Thomas' business.  He ran a European Auto Service Center 2 miles from our home.  Our car has been in the shop for 3 weeks and I was ever so happy to pick it up last week.  On my short drive home, an annoying, loud plastic sounding squeak began.  It was so loud over the radio playing, that I turned…

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Posted on July 7, 2015 at 8:49pm — 3 Comments

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At 3:57am on July 10, 2015, nicole irving said…

hi melodie thankyou for your beautiful message, i am sorry for your loss but makes me smile to think that i am not the only one who's loved one makes it quite obvious that they are still around. I was wondering if everyone would put me in a straight jacket! i hope you have a wonderful time with thomas' niece, family is very important. mikes family are in new zealand and have been as supportive as they can be for being so far away. his elderly mum even wrote me a letter telling me that mike would want me to strong and to let me know that i am still part of their family. keep in touch

 
 
 

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My Fathers Loss

Many years ago, I lost my father after his battle with colon cancer that later spread to his bones. The grief stayed with me longer than I expected. Ambrosia Behavioral Health helped me work through that loss, understand my emotions, and find healthier ways to cope and move forward. https://www.ambrosiatc.comSee More
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Traumatic loss of an only child

I started this group so that people who have lost their only child or the only child that remained, as in my case, could come together because I believe people that did have a child or children who now have none have special issues.
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Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide

If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
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