my mother in law called me yesterday. she was in so much sadness and crying due to missing my husband, her son, so very much. I just dont know what words to say, when I am too, going through hell and inmense pain without my husband. I realize we both have different relationships with Danny. He was my partner, and he was her son. But at the end, we both share similar feelings, we both miss him dearly and are hurt because he was taken away from us so soon. My mother in law, said that from all of her 4 children, Danny, was the only one she can call to vent, and that he always listened and had the right words to make her day feel a lot better. He was the best son to her. And now he is no longer here. She decided to call me yesterday, since she felt the urge to just call Danny, she knew that i can also be a listener to her.  I somehow made it through the call and simply said to her that she can always find a daughter in me and listener as Danny was to her. How do you make a mother's pain better due to the loss of a son???? I just believe there are no words!!

it is just so much trauma. how our family was just all torned up and broken due to Danny's killing. It is just so unfair that we no longer have the good listener, the support, the love, affection from Danny here with us. The father to my son. How do i wrap myself around the idea of now raising my son on my own?? how? why?

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Amanda,

I can't answer your why's..But I think you and your mother in law sharing your grief is a good idea..I know it won't take either of your pain away but just talking with someone who misses him too..Does help. When my mother first passed anyone who mentioned her I would cringe and totally clam up..It will be 8 months on the 7th and each passing day is easier for me to talk about her and I really like talking about her it makes me feel sad yes but also good to share memories of her. I share them with my children daily. I want them to remember her! I fear my youngest will not he didn't get to spend that much time with her..Because she was ill and he was only 15 months when she passed. I want to keep her memory alive through my children :) hugs

Melissa

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