I hate my new life, without you, I hate the fact that I lost you, almost as if I couldn't forgive myself for that day,.the worst feeling is knowing that there's nothing I can do to have u back!,.. I know is not right but at times I feel angry.. I question god his desecion of taking you!.. He knew how much I loved you n I fought for you.. I really thought we were going to have a happy ending n get married one day, have more kids n enjoy our new house,. But now I just find myself lonely,lost, with no hope.. Just me n the kids, there's no more movie nights,no more eating out as a family,no more riding together.. Feeling the wind in my face as I felt so proud of having you,..I miss you with all my heart,I hate that everybody knows what happend..you were the only one that had my back, that protect me, that took care of me..n is fucking killing me living without you!!..I'm soRry I've made mistakes but it just made me realize that much more how nothing in this world compares to what I had, to that feeling of having a family.. People think I'm strong but they don't know ,they can't imagine my pain... I know in my heart that ill never be happy again, I can't promess you that ill make it but I promess you that I will try..for our kids ..I know that's what u would want.. Ill always love you... N remember is only till we meet again... :'(
