First year anniversary

I lost my son Paul a year ago today. I don't even know how to feel. Mostly I feel numb. I think about the middle of the night call from my daughter that Paul was lost. Now I am lost. 

I spent a long time last night thinking what if. I was going to call Paul that day but didn't. What if I did call and some how he didn't end up going surfing. What if he is still alive somehow, hit his head and has amnesia and didn't drown. What if he got washed out to see and is living on a deserted island like Castaway.

This wasn't supposed to happen. I know all of you feel the same way I do. You are not supposed to have your child taken from you. You are supposed to watch them grow, live their lives, have children of their own and say good bye to you when you are old and ready to go. 

 

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Frances Cope on October 11, 2011 at 7:09pm
Cindy, share your loss.  Praying for all who have mourned and suffered as we have. One year for us on 10/15/11.
Permalink Reply by Ammy on October 12, 2011 at 6:35pm
So sorry Cindy.  I know how hard it is for me (us), but I can't imagine what you must go through without having that closure.  I don't know if I expressed this correctly, but I hope you know what I mean.  My heart goes out to you.

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