He died during the summer.  He was murdered.  The cause of death and the autopsy have not been released, and the investigation continues, but the people responsible are known to me and the rest of my family.  It is just too horrible to imagine.  Everything has been such a struggle - getting law enforcement to do what they should do has taken months and I had to do all the preliminary investigation and hire experts just to get the law to take it seriously.  I don't feel like I have even had a chance to grieve. I am still in shock.  people think that it doesn't matter because he was old, but I feel like it matters more because every moment was precious.  I feel robbed, angry, deep despair, guilt, overwhelmed, and more.  I will be fine one moment and then burst out crying.  I don't want to see anyone.  Does everyone who loves someone who has been murdered feel this way?  Like you can't breathe until the killers are at least charged?