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Permalink Reply by Michael on November 12, 2016 at 10:15am

Many people have disappeared on me. A few check in. I still feel very alone and unsure if I will make it.

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Permalink Reply by Pamela philipp on November 14, 2016 at 8:44am

Thankyou Anne j your words helped and yes I must admit I still would love to be in the same room with my family and friends and let them know exactly how I feel and if that opportunity ever comes up it'll probably happen but I don't know at this point i'll just have to wait-and-see I am patient thanks again that really helped it makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one out here feeling the way I do

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Permalink Reply by ShingingLight1967 on November 20, 2016 at 11:12pm

I have always said death and money makes people weird.

I have barely seen my sister since my husband passed... she left in the middle of his memorial service.  My BIL told me he would help me with all sorts of repairs that needed to be done around the house.  Things my husband never got to, he was going to help me with. He and his family came over Easter (after I begged them to), put a hole in my patio cover, and he hasnt been back since.

And then my SIL had the nerve to text me that he was having a hard time with losing his brother and wants something special of my husband's to remember him by.  One of his guitars. 

Uhm... NO.  None of his guitars/basses are going anywhere!

I barely hear from his Dad. I dont hear from his Mom. His friends have scattered to the wind. MY friends have scattered to the wind.  My best friends has left me in the dust.  Really??!!

I can only count on one neighbor for help with anything.  All the other ones take from me, borrow his stuff, make me promises and then disappear or come and drink and cry on my shoulder.  I can get out of this neighborhood fast enough.

And my church friends?  Yeah.... barely hear from them.

Just amazing to me.

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Permalink Reply by ShingingLight1967 on November 20, 2016 at 11:03pm

Hi Pamela...

BOY!!  Do I understand how you feel.  I too have been finding out who is really there with me, almost a year after losing my husband.  And the result is... very few people.

After his memorial service, everyone else went back to their lives and I have been left to figure out the rest of it all. All those people who said "whatever you need, let me know." are nowhere to be found.  His friends, my friends, his family, aside of my girls, I literally can count on one hand, how many people have been here for me.

I have tried to justify it in my head, they are dealing with their grief, his family is hurting, everyone is trying to give me space, they dont know what to do, but the bottom line is this, while they have all returned to their normal lives, I have been left here, alone, to figure it all out.

I have settled on the new motto that everyone can go jump off a cliff, the only people I can count on are myself and my kids. 

Oh, and dont come to me wanting something of my husband's to remember him by.  You arent getting CRAP...  Deal with it.

Yeah, I'm angry about it.

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