Not sure where to start here...

I found this place as it was suggested to me that I talk to people who have been where I am to help me get through...I lost my fiancé 2 weeks ago suddenly at my home of a suspected heart attack. I still can't wrap my head around it in moments, and other moments the reality slaps me in the face. It feels like I'm in some dream or the twilight zone really. To think I will never be in his arms again or hear his voice or see his smile or hear his laugh just can't be real. I just want to sleep all the time so my brain stops and maybe he will meet me in my dreams.

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Permalink Reply by ShingingLight1967 on October 17, 2016 at 1:02pm

Peggy is soooo right.  You can only think about you at this point in time.  I have posted before, but the biggest thing that I found so hurtful was how people said they would be there for me, and then disappear. I barely talk to my husband's family... his brother told me he was going to help me finish the projects that my husband started, came over on Easter, made a hole in my patio cover and I havent seen him since.  (and yet, he was able to finish his entire new patio?)  Then he has the nerve to ask me for one of my husband's guitars to remember him by!??  Really?  I have barely spoken to his Dad, and he keeps saying, anything that he can do for me.  

I am just stunned at how his friends/family have just bailed out.  

I made the decision a few months ago that everyone else can pound sand. My priority is my kids, which means I have to take care of myself so I can take care of them. I give myself a break to do nothing.  

Right now, just take care of you.. that is the most important thing.

Permalink Reply by Kimberly on October 17, 2016 at 3:33pm

I was told if you need anything I am here. I asked 2 friends and a family member to go with me and my son to something my fiance and I bought tickets for(all tickets were paid for) that he was so excited to go to (I am pretty private and strong so I usually don't ask for any help as I have been a single mom for a long time)... None of them showed. The family member didn't even call until the next day with a lame excuse. But we went for him...I like to think he was there with us <3

So now... I will pick myself up and do what I need to do for me, and try not to drink a bottle of champagne at night... well.... not every night lol 

The people here just may help me keep my sanity... thank you for that!

Permalink Reply by Elynn m on October 17, 2016 at 2:54pm

You guys are so right...it is important to concentrate on taking care of yourself and children at this time.   I was married for 4G years before losing the love of my life.   Age doesn't matter.   Friends still disappear.  Yes, people often say, let me know if I can help.  But it seldom goes further.   I don't worry about it anymore.  They get back to their lives (and I'm OK with that).   I just call them once in awhile to let them know I'm still alive!    I found that most people think, and sometimes say, "I

 Didn't call, because I didn't know what to say".....or, "didn't want to upset you".  They really won't understand until it happens to them.   My thinking to know how to answer them is still confusing, so I usually don't reply.

Permalink Reply by Kimberly on October 17, 2016 at 3:39pm

so true...It's like they just want to hear the easy answer so they don't have to think about what to do or say next...

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