Does anyone else write to grieve?

My Brain...by Cindy

 

I see your smile and your beautiful eyes

in my wakeing hours and dreams

I hear your voice and your strong advice

but it's muddled by some kind of fog

I think for brief seconds, that I know what you'd do

then I'm lost and full of doubt

My brain is stuck on what I should have done

and my eyes cannot see it is today

My heart races as if trying to escape

and then it forgets to beat

I cry so hard that I'm grasping for breath

and I cannot remember to breathe

I scream out your name and wait for an answer

I cannot even hear my own thoughts

I am awake at weird hours all night

I pray for a dark, peaceful sleep.

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Permalink Reply by Sharon Reynolds on October 28, 2010 at 7:00am
Cindy, you have captured exactly how I feel-I lost my son two months ago to a cause of death undetermined. Thank you for sharing this beautiful work. Sharon
Permalink Reply by Cindy on October 28, 2010 at 7:20am
Thank you Sharon, and I am very sorry for your loss. Some days are better than others. God bless you
Permalink Reply by Cindy on October 29, 2010 at 7:44pm
Expectations By Cindy

I don't expect to wake up from this nightmare anymore.



I don't expect your truck in the drive.



I don't expect you to call me on the phone.



I don't expect to hear your voice.



I don't expect to feel your arms around me.



I don't expect to make you laugh.



I have no more expectations



I have only memories.
Permalink Reply by Jim Eginoire on October 30, 2010 at 6:41am
I write in response to questions like yours, in other words I communicate with multiple people on this and another web site. I write about my wife, Nanette and my pain and sadness and what my day was like. I talk about the things I do to try and cope with the intense grief.
But I write a letter to Nanette every night when I get into bed. I tell her how much I miss her or I just write about the day. If I don't address it to her directly I write my feelings and fears down or I write to God. Here it is 6:39 am on a Saturday morning and I am having my first cup of coffee and writing. I don't know if that means it's going to be a good or bad day. In short, yes, I write constantly.
Permalink Reply by Katie Vaughan on November 3, 2010 at 4:25pm
I just signed up for this website, and this post was the first one I went to. I too write to try to help with the grief. I'm very sorry for your loss . This post is very beautifully written and made me cry thinking of the loss of my grandma.
Permalink Reply by Cindy on November 5, 2010 at 10:19am
Thank you. I write in a journal to Les, and I write poetry, which I always do to handle things. I miss him so much. I am sorry for your losses as well.
Permalink Reply by coachlouise on November 28, 2010 at 2:37pm
I love your writing, thank you for sharing, please keep the pen busy it is very healing, Louise
Permalink Reply by Cindy on November 28, 2010 at 5:26pm
Words, By Cindy
There are so many words in the world.

I loved words. I loved to write words.

I loved to read words.

Then you died.

Now words fail me.

Words stab through me.

"I came home and..."

"He's gone"

"Blood Clot"

"Funeral"

"Cemetary"

"Grief"

"Alone"

"Crying"

The worst ones, for me? "Without you"

Everything I do, every day since that day, is followed by those words.

There isn't a single thing I can do that isn't followed by those words--even breath.

I never imagined life--without you.

I cannot imagine life--without you.

I hate eating, sleeping, walking, driving, watching tv, even breathing--without you.
Permalink Reply by D. Stone on January 20, 2011 at 12:29pm
I write all the time and I feel just the same way you do. How do I face tomorrow without him.
Permalink Reply by Tina Marie on February 19, 2011 at 11:21am
I posted a poem I wrote for my ex fiancee. you are welcome to read it . I am sorry for your loss.   God Bless ♥
Permalink Reply by Babs on August 21, 2011 at 4:26pm
Yes I do, its been one of the only things I have found to help a little. I have written quite a lot of poetry, Have posted some on here. Your words are all to familiar, but I find it good to read the words of other people on this road, it feels a little less lonely. Well written, thanks. Babs
Permalink Reply by Cindy on December 1, 2011 at 10:29pm

Hi Babs. I realize that it's been awhile since you posted.  My life has been a little hectic.  I hope you are still writing.  Is life getting any easier for you?

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