Lost My Beloved Wife On June 11th

Hello everyone,

I am a new member here. I must say, as much as I would love the support, I'd much rather not have to be here, since being here meant losing my wife.

Kaitlyn was 24 years old when she shot herself point blank with my own.40 caliber pistol. We had been married two years, together for almost 4, and have known each other and been best friends for well on 8 years or so.

This sudden suicide came as a shock to all who knew her. She was kind, very outgoing, bubbly, and carefree. No one but I knew the depth of her torture. She was racked with mental disease, and it finally got the best of her.

She leaves behind myself with our two small children, 1 and 4, and I am absolutely lost without her. My days are empty, my nights are long, and nothing seems to have the same satisfaction without the love of my life by my side. I've handled a lot in my short life. Been through more trials than most 80 year olds, but I fear that this may defeat me. I just do not know how to begin to cope. So many unanswered questions, so many what ifs.... I miss her more than I can put into words. 

Tags: suicide

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Permalink Reply by Eva Van on June 23, 2016 at 8:09pm

I too am saddened that anyone is here...as you ... most of us are devastated by a traumatic loss in which we find coping difficult....here, I at least find those who understand  the immense pain and dramatic life altering circumstances we find ourselves dealing with..

My words will have little solace  for you but I wish to express that you are not alone in your despair and others here find themselves  walking similar paths...it is a struggle...draining us of our emotional and physical strength...I wish mere words could lift your burden, ease your pain, and silence your mind...but it is a second by second wearying fight...one in which we try to find new meaning...

I send my heartfelt sympathies to you...

Permalink Reply by Matthew Davenport on June 28, 2016 at 7:46pm

I thank you for the sympathy and thoughts. We are trying desperately to pick up the pieces she left behind and rebuild our family.

Permalink Reply by Robin on June 28, 2016 at 7:11pm
Let me tell you I feel and understand your pain it has been six weeks today I lost my husband of 26 years and it hurts beyond words I don't know how to even tell you how to cope for me it is day by day I just want you to know your pain is felt
Permalink Reply by Matthew Davenport on June 28, 2016 at 7:46pm

I am grateful to know there are others, but also saddened that so many have passed through these same awful gates into the world of grief. I send my sympathies as well. 

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