Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Lisa Stansbury on October 9, 2010 at 8:28am

My heart goes out to you...I cried when I read your entry. I've lost two beloveds - not as dramatically, but close. One 10 years ago, one 3 months ago. A few things that helped me that might help you: Please find support groups in your area, and a counselor for yourself. Know that he loved you deeply and dearly and is probably still watching over you in some way. that kind of love doesn't die, it stays in the hearts of both, I believe. Know that you made his life happy. You brought great joy: love, a new baby...oh my how you must have made him happy, fights or no fights. All the widows have regrets. All of them, I've never known a widow not to say "oh my god, why did i fight about that?" So you are not alone. If god forbid it had been you to pass, then he would have been living with those same regrets...so please try not to beat yourself up too much. People love you and want to help you. Let them. The pain and darkness will ease and when it does, you won't forget him. He won't be gone. He will be even more deeply embedded in your history, your life, your heart. He is truly a part of you and that doesn't die. It sounds kinda crazy, but when you look back, you'll be amazed how it is true. You are now the bearer of his history, his child, he will never be gone from your life if you don't want him to be. And then -- well, I have a card on my refrigerator with a picture of a little girl in the rain. The card say s"Then...when it seems we will never smile again...life comes back." And it will for you, and your husband wants that for you, so please try not to push it away because you feel guilty for going on when he is not there. I'm at month now I suppose and it gets a tiny bit easier each day. I'm looking forward to when I can live in gratitude and not in grief. Many many hugs to you. God is still watching over you...he hasn't abandoned you. Lisa

Permalink Reply by Karen R. on October 10, 2010 at 9:44pm

Stephanie, I am so sorry for your tremendous loss. I, too am suffering the the loss of my 21yr old son. Look for individuals that have, unfortunately, experienced some of the same pain that you have to help you get through this. I will NEVER accept what has happened to my son but I push my self to live for my other children, very difficult.

Permalink Reply by Julie Dolsey-Weiss on October 10, 2010 at 8:14pm

Dear Jodi,

I am so sorry for the loss of your loved ones, especially your son. I lost both my parents, my mom in 2009 she was my best friend and I was/am devasasted by her loss. Remember what you are feeling is normal, I mean you lost your son and we all go a little bit crazy, i did. These support groups really make a huge difference and talk about your feelings.

I am here for you
Juls

Permalink Reply by anne on October 12, 2010 at 1:16am

Dear Jody
My heart breaks for you. Everyone deals with death in different ways. We all greive at different paces. Take your time dont be to hard on yourself. This is a very sad and painful process Reach out to those you trust. reach out to us we are here for you. There is no normal way to do this. The most important thing is to keep yourself safe. I'm here for you. We can talk. Sometimes talk is the best medicine.

Permalink Reply by jennifer on November 20, 2010 at 12:55pm

the worst thing for us parents is to lose 1 of babies,my heart was broken when my baby was murdered but my other children gave me a reason to live and go on..i dont want to imagine what would happen to me if i lost another 1..there is nothing wrong with going crazy and i hope by now u feel at least a lil bit better but the pain never goes away..god bless you and know that they r both angels watching over u and u will see them again

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