I feel so empty

Today is nine weeks since I lost the man that meant everything to me. Today is my birthday I tried to cancel it with family and friends but they having been leaving birthday messages which mean nothing at all without my darling husband to share them with me. I don't want any more birthdays without him. Life is such a strain without him. Everyday tasks are just done automatically. I just cannot see the point of life without him. My children are doing there best. My mum lost my dad 30 years ago, she knows how I feel but cannot do anything to help me which makes her feel useless.I have been to see a medium she said that he is fine and with family and told me not to worry about him and that he will always be with me. She said there was nothing I could have done to help him. I want to believe her because I needed to know that he was ok. I know everyone on this site is going through exactly the same pain so why is it we all feel so alone.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Mel Royer on April 17, 2016 at 9:21am

After losing my wife of 24 years, I also had the occasion to experience my birthday alone, and to tell the truth, it meant nothing to me. Just a marker of the first year of the rest of my life without my soulmate. Now I am looking at the first anniversary of her passing and the raw, deep bite of sorrow is as fresh as when she left me. I know what you mean when you question the point of life without your mate. I know I will spend the remainder of my days counting the hours, the minutes, even the seconds until I am reunited with the only other person in the world who ever truly knew me well and still loved me unconditionally. Still, I am befuddled as to why the many people I know just don't get it. Then I realize, they still haven't been where we are. They have not yet lost their significant other. And, of course, at one time or another they will lose that other half of their very soul, then they will know. Then, they will get it!

Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on April 18, 2016 at 7:35am

Welcome Deborah,

Sorry for your loss, I lost my husband to cancer three years ago May 5, 2015. I too went to a medium and told he was happy and not to worry. Well, to this day my life still feels empty without him, but I do go on and do everything automatically. The pain of losing him does get better, but he is always with you. God Bless, Linda

Permalink Reply by Amy weiss stile on April 21, 2016 at 12:48am

It's been 2months since I lost my husband at an early age.48 years old.I feel the same way u do.can't sleep tonight.my thoughts are always with him.

Permalink Reply by Maria T. on May 2, 2016 at 12:20am

Hi im new here, i lost my husband 43 years old almost 7 weeks ago... im broken literally broken.  its extra hard to cope because we did not only lose a husband but we lost our best friend, lover, confidant and soulmate... not one person around me gets it.... not one. The only thing that keeps me on this earth is my two kids 10 and 12... it really sucks knowing my kids will be going thru life without their dad.. that makes it hurt so much more.. I have many sleepless nights...   hope your doing well (as well as you can be)            ---M

Permalink Reply by Amy weiss stile on May 2, 2016 at 7:18am

I feel the same way we have similar situations keep strong

Permalink Reply by Debbie on May 1, 2016 at 3:22pm

I am so sorry for your loss, my Greg passed 7 weeks ago and you are right we all understand your pain. Unfortunately it's your memories, life that we can't share, not even your kids because they are yours! Your spouse is someone you shared with, put up with especially the alcoholism, no one but another spouse of an alcoholic can appreciate. We hide so much to protect others. I think we are all afraid to feel more than grief because than anger might set in and than what? I loved my husband so much i don't care if I go on or not. But I did think of leaving the person whom alcohol had taken ovrr. I couldn't though because he got sicker. But that guilt of even thinking it kills me. As one person wrote. Greg couldn't get better so he was called to rest in heaven. But our journey is still here and we have to do that one day at a time thing which I hate hearing! And say today I am good I got out of bed and got dressed. Yes I am lonely and cry myself to sleep but i'm crying for a lot of what is and the man I missed before he was consumed. Our 40 anniversary and the good Greg was taking me to Hawaii. Maybe he can see it from where he is. I long to fall asleep in arms or hold his hand. We never went to sleep even when we were angry without holding hands and it's my turn to be alone.

Permalink Reply by Evelyn Brown on May 1, 2016 at 7:46pm
It has been over three yrs since my husband died suddenly. I still can't function much. I want him back. I know that can't be. I just cry everyday. I am not happy. I won't ever be. I can't write here anymore right now. All I know is I don't see how I'll live out the rest of my life.
Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on May 1, 2016 at 8:50pm

Evelyn,

It will be three years on May 5, since I lost my husband to cancer and I still cannot function either and I don't thing I ever will be able to. 

Permalink Reply by Maria T. on May 2, 2016 at 12:21am

i hear ya Evelyn... im sorry... 

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