Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Carla Rose on February 24, 2016 at 8:41pm

    I understand that feeling. That morning, I was busy, and didn't check my e-mail until after 11 am. Only then did I notice the absence of my Mom's usual good morning e-mail, and try to call to see what was going on. Only then did I try to call her cell and her landline several times in a row, and got no response, which is highly out of the ordinary for her. I'm the only child, and she'd pretty much lived for me ever since my father passed away two years ago following a long, painful decline. That's why I called 911, and EMS was sent to her apartment. They found her body on the couch, no pulse, not breathing. It appeared that she had fallen asleep on the couch and just never woke up. I got there and was told my mother was deceased. I had talked to her on the phone the previous night, and everything had seemed fine. I can't help but wonder if I had checked my email earlier, realized something was amiss earlier, would she have been saved? When she'd had the severe pain in her left side a week earlier, and claimed it was just a pulled muscle, nothing serious, if I hadn't taken her at her word, if I had insisted that she go to the ER, would they have found the undiagnosed "very bad heart disease" that the medical examiner found during the autopsy, would she still be here now? There are always questions, always what-ifs, especially when a death is sudden and unexpected. My aunt, my mother's twin, has said the same. She's been taking medication for high cholesterol and blood pressure for years, and has been urging my mother to get checked for these issues. My mother insisted that she was fine, she weighed less than her sister, and it wasn't going to happen to her. My aunt also wonders if my mother would still be alive if she had been more persistent.  I'm sorry these questions haunt you. All I can do is assure you that you're not alone.

Permalink Reply by Theresa on February 25, 2016 at 5:16am

Everyone has questions and what ifs.  I thought my mom was just having her usual constipation days,from her blood pressure med,  it started Thursday, Friday she went to the dr and he sent her for an xray, then home to take a few laxitives,I thought nothing of it and neither did she.  Saturday she called me at 7:40am, which she did everyday and said this I can't take this anymore so she called the dr and he said go to the hospital, he instructed her to call the ambulance and not wait for me to get there.  I called her again to make sure she was ok and she sounded normal.  So I left my house immediately, stopped at her house, figuring the hospital would be taking a while.  Left her house at 8:15am to drive the 20min to the hospital and as I was pulling in I received a phone call from an unknown number, I answered and the woman identified herself quickly and stated "your mom is in full cardiac arrest" do you want us to intubate her and do CPR I said yes.  My mom died.  I did not get there to say I love you mom.  Nothing, it was very quick.  One nurse had compassion and said to me, I was talking to you mom and then I turned around and her eyes rolled back in her head, the nurse stated it was very peaceful.  Which was comforting, but I was numb, I couldn't move.  I was very close with my mom, talked everyday, sometimes ten times, I went there every Sunday and sometimes during the week on my day off to go to the mall.  My mom had me when she was 42, and she always said I know why God gave you to me.  Without an autopsy, my brother and I believe her aortic aneurysm ruptured, her stomach was so distended.  Even though her family dr who was not even there said it was her blood pressure.  I miss her so much, I am trying to live my life as she always used to tell me to do, but this is the hardest think I ever had to do.   My mom went to church everyday, met her friends at the local diner everyday and was very independent.  I don't like to tell her age because people say what did you want she lived a long life............92 years old, if I can figure out how to post a picture I will.

Permalink Reply by Jane on February 29, 2016 at 8:14pm

Oh Theresa 92 years old... that's a sweet sweet age I'm so sorry. My Mom was 80 soon to be 81... She should have lived until 90. I understand the pain it's so hard. I miss my Mom so much and I'm 53yo. They were our best friends for a long time ;(

Permalink Reply by Theresa on March 1, 2016 at 5:10am

Your are exactly right our best friends for a long time.

My mom used to say to me "I got to see my daughter turn 50"!

I do have one brother he is 17 years older than me, he lives four hours away, so I am taking care of everything, and he thanks me everytime we talk, I tell him that is not necessary.

I wonder can they hear us and see us?

I guess no one really knows......