My wife

    On January 26th of this year, my whole life was changed forever. My wife of 44 years was killed in an automobile accident. She was riding with a co-worker from their place of employment to where I work, and from there she and I would have gone home. Our home, our dream home, was only just purchased in December. We spent our first night there on Dec. 20th. This was to be our retirement home where we would live out the rest of our years together. She only got to enjoy it for just over a month. But now she is gone. I miss her so very much. I cry every day, sometimes the entire day. I feel so empty. I ask God every day to let me die so that I might be with her. Nothing matters to me any more.

   She and I were high school sweethearts. We went steady for about a year and we were engaged another year before getting married. She was the first girl I ever kissed.

    We did everything together. I never wanted to be away from her, and she felt the same about me. I am so lonely now. As I said, nothing matters to me any more. I have lost everything. I would give anything to have her back. I miss holding her, hearing her voice and seeing her smile. I sit and look at photos and I think how beautiful she was.

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Permalink Reply by Orville Hamman Jr. on April 27, 2015 at 6:38pm

Thought I would give an update. My grief finally consumed me and on March 31st I had a breakdown. I am now seeing my doctor every couple weeks, am on antidepressants and I am seeing a therapist once a week. I am adjusting to Sal being gone, but I still miss her terribly. Each day now is a bit easier. I have lost 41 pounds in 3 months. I am working on some of the things that my wife and I were going to do. I want to do them for her. Shortly after my breakdown I wrote a poem to her. It's not great but it says what I felt/feel.

To Sally

You went away

Some time ago

When all was white

Covered in snow

We laid you to rest

On a cold, snowy day

After first we went

To the church to pray

We had such plans

Just you and I

I was not ready

For you to die

To grow old together

That was our goal

But over death

We have no control

To have you back

I would give anything

To hold the hand

That wears my ring

To hear your voice

To see your smile

If only for

a little while

By the tears I shed

I hope you see

How much you truly

Meant to me

I miss you dearly

I hope you know

How I’ll go on

I do not know

Just know I loved you

I love you still

I love you Sal

I always will

Permalink Reply by kelly on April 29, 2015 at 7:59am

Orville I am sorry for your great loss. Having a relationship that deep I can certainly relate. It is going to be very difficult to carry on but you can do it. Cherish those precious memories. in your really dark moments just say a prayer for strength. I don't know how religious you are but prayer helps, that and having supportive friends and family. Keep strong and you are in my prayers.

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