She died one hour after we ended our call

I still unable to believe that my wife of 33 years is gone. She was my best friend, my lover and new me like no other person ever could. Only 67 no idea she had heart problems. I am a truck driver was on my way to Minot ND and called her from Clearwater. My last words to her was I love you to the moon and back, her responce "I love you more" We laugh and she hung up. Three hours later after calling my Grandson, (expecting twins are great grandchildren) because I could not reach her, I get get a call from the tissue bank wanting my wife's corneas, unaware I had not been contacted.
I have seen death, I have even killed while serving our country, but I still can't get over this loss.
I believe in one God, I believe the soul does not die. I should be happy that her death was fast instead of being long and torturous. But I miss her so.
I awake automatically around 6:50 am, I would do a 7pm wakeup call every day.
I am young and alive at 64. My dad is 95 and I have years of life ahead of me.
I remember a friend who found another wife three months after the death of his. I was amazed he could do that but he told me "Hell it just like horse's if you get thrown you got to get up, dusk yourselve off and get back in the saddle". I can not comprehend anyone replacing my love. I guess I just need time. But life is so short, and I want to live, laugh and love again.
I never thought of myself as weak, but I cry at the drop of a hat now a day's.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Stanley Ruiz on May 16, 2014 at 5:11pm

NIVE FOTOS JO STANLEY I LOVE THEM

Permalink Reply by Stanley Ruiz on May 16, 2014 at 5:12pm

JUST BEAUTIFUL STANLEY

Permalink Reply by Becky G on May 26, 2014 at 11:19pm
Just got a chance to get on the site again and really enjoyed the pics. Especially the argentine and the unique shot of the birds. Very nice. Really enjoyed. I hope all is well with everyone. I have been dealing with my best friends loss this last couple of weeks. Her 21 year old son suddenly passed away. He had a new baby and everyone was hoping he would get his life straight but tragically it wasn't to be. As a mom I feel so bad for him and of course his mom and family. Doesn't make sense!!!!! I hope I can help her through it!
Permalink Reply by rachel_micele on May 25, 2015 at 12:57am

Taken from a previous post from Ross: "Sudden deaths I think are so much harder than when we lost an aging parent. We expect that to happen."

I've been questioning myself the comparison of sudden vs expected in general. My current conclusion is expected can have an equally challenging version of hell depending on details, but I do think as a general rule sudden is much harder than expected. My mom told me she has cried more for Gary (my boyfriend) than her own mother and feels it was for this reason. Gary passed sudden and unexpected at 46 while her mom died of colon cancer, was sick for years prior, and was either in her late 60's or early 70's.  

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