My son died of a drug overdose.

Our doorbell rang early one morning and the sheriff gave us a number to
call. The number was for the emergency room in an out of state hospital and
the physician informed us that our son had been brought in on a 911 call
and had passed away either from drugs or alcohol. The person who made the
911 call was the dealer and he spoke with us briefly on the phone, but
essentially told us that he didn't know what happened, but that my son had
lots of drugs in him. We don't know if the overdose was on purpose,
accidental, or if there was foul play. There are evidences of all 3.

I had no idea that my son used drugs. He had recently gotten his PhD in
Physics and because of his academic excellence, there was no reason for me
to ever even suspect that he would use.

My shock lasted for about 6 weeks, and even now it's hard for me to believe
that he did that and he's gone. Every day I wonder why he did it. Everyday,
during quiet times my mind wanders back to him and what he did and even
when I try to think about the other wonderful parts of my life, I still
start to think about him. I feel like I should be moving forward and I'm
really not.

He died in March 13, 2013, so it's been almost 10 months. Like you,
everyday I tell myself that he died. When I get up in the middle of the
night, I tell myself that he's gone. When I can't sleep (most nights) I
think about him. How long does it take to feel like you have accepted the
loss, and really moved forward? I'm tired of this grief.

Thanks to you all for being here!

Tags: drug, overdose, son

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Connie K on January 8, 2014 at 11:40am

Dear Amy

 I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my only son last year  in a car accident. He was 17. The shock for me is just beginning to wear off. It is an enormous and devastating pain and I don't think anyone ever get over it. Just through it, a day at a time. Yes you will move forward but not without sliding back too. Just find your strength in faith of the love you shared and the friends and family you have now. It is hard for those who have not been through this to understand but we do here so I hope you can find some support and hope here and that it will help you move forward. Hugs to you.

Permalink Reply by Debbie on January 8, 2014 at 10:05pm

Oh Amy I'm so sorry. We all know losing a child is the worst loss of all. Try not to waste time beating yourself up. Sometimes there is nothing we could have done. You have to let yourself grieve but not dwell on the if only. 

If you had the power to change things you would, we all would. Hopefully we'll see our loved ones again. I'll keep you in my prayers. Debbie

Permalink Reply by Lynn Williams on January 9, 2014 at 3:59pm
Amy ,
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my 26 year old daughter almost 5 months ago.
My daughter lived in Montana and hasn't lived at our home since she left for college.
I think in cases where your children don't live with you and you didn't see them a lot.
it takes longer to accept they are gone.
Permalink Reply by Barbara Urbanek on March 27, 2014 at 8:28am

I'm so sorry for your pain. Losing a child has got to be the worst loss in the world. May God bless you give you peace and rest.

 

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