Our doorbell rang early one morning and the sheriff gave us a number to
call. The number was for the emergency room in an out of state hospital and
the physician informed us that our son had been brought in on a 911 call
and had passed away either from drugs or alcohol. The person who made the
911 call was the dealer and he spoke with us briefly on the phone, but
essentially told us that he didn't know what happened, but that my son had
lots of drugs in him. We don't know if the overdose was on purpose,
accidental, or if there was foul play. There are evidences of all 3.

I had no idea that my son used drugs. He had recently gotten his PhD in
Physics and because of his academic excellence, there was no reason for me
to ever even suspect that he would use.

My shock lasted for about 6 weeks, and even now it's hard for me to believe
that he did that and he's gone. Every day I wonder why he did it. Everyday,
during quiet times my mind wanders back to him and what he did and even
when I try to think about the other wonderful parts of my life, I still
start to think about him. I feel like I should be moving forward and I'm
really not.

He died in March 13, 2013, so it's been almost 10 months. Like you,
everyday I tell myself that he died. When I get up in the middle of the
night, I tell myself that he's gone. When I can't sleep (most nights) I
think about him. How long does it take to feel like you have accepted the
loss, and really moved forward? I'm tired of this grief.

Thanks to you all for being here!

Tags: drug, overdose, son

Views: 469

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Dear Amy

 I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my only son last year  in a car accident. He was 17. The shock for me is just beginning to wear off. It is an enormous and devastating pain and I don't think anyone ever get over it. Just through it, a day at a time. Yes you will move forward but not without sliding back too. Just find your strength in faith of the love you shared and the friends and family you have now. It is hard for those who have not been through this to understand but we do here so I hope you can find some support and hope here and that it will help you move forward. Hugs to you.

Oh Amy I'm so sorry. We all know losing a child is the worst loss of all. Try not to waste time beating yourself up. Sometimes there is nothing we could have done. You have to let yourself grieve but not dwell on the if only. 

If you had the power to change things you would, we all would. Hopefully we'll see our loved ones again. I'll keep you in my prayers. Debbie

Amy ,
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my 26 year old daughter almost 5 months ago.
My daughter lived in Montana and hasn't lived at our home since she left for college.
I think in cases where your children don't live with you and you didn't see them a lot.
it takes longer to accept they are gone.

I'm so sorry for your pain. Losing a child has got to be the worst loss in the world. May God bless you give you peace and rest.

 

RSS

Latest Activity

Krystal Swinehart is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
19 hours ago
Profile IconRoger Mayer and Darnell Hargrove joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
dream moon JO B replied to Marisol Delgado's discussion Hitting me
"its so hard xmas coz our loved 1s no longer with us so sorry  on your loss "
Monday
Marisol Delgado posted a discussion

Hitting me

My daughter did MAID last Tuesday and I've been holding up okay.But just now the Christmas convoy (trucks all lit up that do an organized drive through our small town) went by and suddenly I just started crying, thinking how my girl won't be around to have these small moments. And not that she would have - she wasn't a huge Christmas or celebration person. So I don't know why I'm sitting here crying about it.Oh this is going to hurt a lot :-(See More
Monday
Aimer updated their profile
Dec 19
Aimer is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Dec 18
Cheyenne Steffen shared a profile on Facebook
Dec 17
Cheyenne Steffen left a comment for Paula Mullin
"Paula! Are you still online? I haven’t been on this site in years and just happened to sign in today and saw your message. I wondered what happened with you! I hope you’re doing well and hope to hear from you. My email is…"
Dec 17

© 2025   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service