Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Mark on February 18, 2013 at 12:36am

Sharon,

 

I am so sorry for your loss. Having gone through losing my two parents less than a year ago - two months apart the deaths of both of them - I know what sadness and grief is. I was close with them very much.  I don't pretend to know what you are exactly going through, what your friendship meant etc. But, by grieving, you obviously are very sad of the loss of someone who meant something to you.

 

For your family to say that you should be happy your friend is dead, I don't know why they would say that. I might guess what they are meaning - I lost my dad to cancer. But for someone to say I (you) should be happy that they are gone - maybe they are meaning that the person who passed is at peace, so we are told. But that does not replace your loss. As for your boss, I don't know what type of work you are doing, but there should be a more appropriate way for your employer to address his concerns.

 

What I did in this situation was find a grief group through the local hospice, use any grief resources out there, and accept unfortunately that some people dont get what someone feeling real loss feels like.

 

My thoughts are with you.

 

M

Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on February 18, 2013 at 3:48pm

spry abot yore friend sharon i dont no how any 1 can say u shud be pleased yore friend is dead the 1s who hav saed it must not hav lost any 1 in the lives yet i no iv had silly comonts not on hear but off serten 1s in the family like get over it its easy or i shud got of it the day he died i  not bean fair to ther fealings i shud stop thning abot my self wish i dont i stopt thnging abot my self a long time ago over sothng else it happend so sory for lozing yore friend

Permalink Reply by A. Buyten on February 18, 2013 at 9:26pm

Hi,

It has been about a year and a half since I lost my girlfriend. Still tough on a dialy basis. i find it hard at times that some around me are very stressed out about such minor things in comparison and am finding it hard with my coping. If anyone has input I would be greatful.

Permalink Reply by Brenda Ann on February 19, 2013 at 10:46pm

I am truly sorry you are suffering, and I am guessing some of the people in your family, friends and workmates have not suffered such a loss. There will come the day . . .

Grief is not a destination it is a journey that each person travels their own way and in their own time. There are no set rules! It is helpful to find someone to talk to where you are safe to grieve your way. If there is no person in your life like that know that everyone on this website understands. Know too that I care and will listen 24/7 with a truly sympathetic ear. If you find it easier to write, consider a journal.

Talking can be a helpful release. Following the death of all ten of his children, as well as some other personal tragedies, the ancient patriarch Job said: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to [Hebrew, “loose”] my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 1:2, 18, 19; 10:1) Job could no longer restrain his concern. He needed to let it loose; he had to “speak.” Similarly, the English dramatist Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth: “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.”

You asked where to go with your feelings. - My first suggestion is go to God in prayer, ask for his help. He cares for each of us individually.

Isaiah 41:10 says, "Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not gaze about, for I am your God. I will fortify you. I will really help you. I will really keep fast hold of you with my right hand of righteousness.’"

Your friend,
Brenda
Mawmaw1591@gmail.com