Yes, I have lost my mind. In my grief and lonliness I let you take my hand. We walked and I listened to you tell me how your life has been. All the while in my head trying to climb over my pain.

We ended us 12 years ago, both broken hearted and scarred. Then God sent me Michael and he healed my heart, saved my life and showed me that I was loved. And then I guess God had other plans and took Michael home with Him. So once again I am not only heart broken - but broken. My spirit, my life, my heart, my world - all shattered - broken.

From far away you sensed my pain and offered me your hand. You let me scream and cry as you gently wiped my tears. Not a day has gone by that I don't think of you, you said.

How can I love Michael and hold your hand? You said you will not ask anything from me. But today you said you can see clear and you see me.

Don't tell me you love me - please don't. What is this circle I am living to only end up where I started, holding your hand.

I want Michael - with everything in me he is who I want. How can I hold your hand?