the snow is over my knees here , but nothing will stop me from seeing my son each and everyday, I clean the stone off, and cry whats left  of my heart out. I want so much to scream, why are you not coming to my dreams, why? I break down so much, I cant remember being happy any more, just emptiness, I feel nothing but pain. why wont he answer me, to take me to him,  im so tired I want to go, I want to hold my baby, to laugh to smile with my shawn. how much longer will he make me suffer?  why my son?  I love you shawn always and forever. I pray we are together soon, I need you , life without you is no life.      mom