I don't want to sound like a baby, but I miss my boyfriend so much. I'm to the point where keeping myself busy isn't really working. He's always on my mind now. I also lost a close friend to leukemia less than a year after my boyfriend died. I think about him too. Recently I've been thinking about both of them and I wonder why I lost them both in a short amount of time. I feel so alone sometimes. I have this feeling like it should've been me. I miss them both dearly and I wish they were still alive. Please don't think I'm crazy but last night I cut my arm. I kept having nightmares and I couldn't take it anymore and I tried not to think about it but I ended up snapping  and took a knife to my arm. I need someone to talk to please. I feel like I'm going insane.