Dear Angelina,

I am so sorry to hear what happened to your boyfriend and the nightmares you are having. I am so glad you found this website. Even though no one here wishes they were part of this grief support group, we all can understand, empathize and comfort the other like no one else. Having experienced this profound loss I am also glad that you are now talking. This is my favorite quote:

"Talking can be a helpful release. Following the death of all ten of his children, as well as some other personal tragedies, the ancient patriarch Job said: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to [Hebrew, “loose”] my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 1:2, 18, 19; 10:1) Job could no longer restrain his concern. He needed to let it loose; he had to “speak.” Similarly, the English dramatist Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth: “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.”
So talking about your feelings to “a true companion” who will listen patiently and sympathetically can bring a measure of relief. (Proverbs 17:17) Putting experiences and feelings into words often makes it easier to understand them and to deal with them. And if the listener is another bereaved person who has effectively dealt with his or her own loss, you may be able to glean some practical suggestions on how you can cope. When her child died, one mother explained why it helped to talk to another woman who had faced a similar loss: “To know that somebody else had gone through the same thing, had come out whole from it, and that she was still surviving and finding some sort of order in her life again was very strengthening to me.”"

I hope you keep talking or even keep a journal. Do you believe in God? Do you believe that the Bible is God's word? May I share some comfort and promises that will allow you to hope for a future time when you can see your boyfriend alive here on earth?

Love,

Brenda