What I've been feeling.

I miss you so much. I feel like your not really gone. I keep dreaming about you. That you'll come back, your really okay. You've only gone for a little while then you'll come back in perfect health. The pain is so deep and killing me inside, I just want to scream until I can't scream any longer. I can't bare the pain. I can't bare the hurt. I can't stop the tears. I can't stop the fear. I myself just wanna die. I hurt. I hurt so bad inside that words aren't able to even grasp even a tiny grain of the pain and sorrow. I keep waiting and wanting you back. I keep hurting because of all the joyous and magical times I get to spend with my daughter, I know your boy don't get those moments anymore with you. God please, please help me ease the pain. Make my heart stop beating in the pool of pain. For I don't know how much more I can bare.

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Comment by Bern on March 13, 2013 at 10:16am

I feel so much the same. I look out the window, listen for the truck to drive up, sit at the dinner table, waiting waiting. waiting...waiting...my only son, why did you leave me? You told me that you was all I needed. Please come back. Please come back..My heart stop beating the day your heart stopped. My life will never be the same. 5 month..i have not heard or seen you. The pictures and video is not enough. You always made jokes at me..now..I just sit with a frown on my face everyday.My lips are turned upward..as if it was a permanant position.

Comment by Jodi Beres on March 13, 2013 at 1:49am

that is how i feel my husband passed away at 44 of massive heart attack in bed next to me.  I have never been so alone, or so broken.  I have lost both my parents and i didn't anything could be worse.  I just want to curl up in bed and never get up.  i hope this group helps me find some peace or any feeling other than pain.  So tired of the way everyone looks at me.

Comment by Pam on March 7, 2013 at 8:25pm
Thanks for your kind words Stephanie.
Comment by Stephanie Wilson on February 28, 2013 at 10:21pm
Losing people we love is so painful. I know the pain the fear and just wanting a little relief from the pain. Know you are not alone because thank God I found this group.

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