Ist of all Iam really really tired. Grief, depression,My screwed up work schedule, worry my prostate cancer will reappear,hormon shots(side effects) the total mess my wife made of my life(psychologically I did not have the will or motivation to stop it) etc etc etc oh did I say overweight . Trying to figure out how to live the rest of my life(by myself or what ever) At 65 Iam thrust out in the world deciding how bad it would be to die from hight blood pressure or cancer in my bones or anyother sickness probably from being overweight.After all the hospice can pump me full of morphine.

I virtually give up from trying to rescue myself from this.My stepson always says "call me if you need me" uh !!(utter amazement) its like no call me and see if I haven,t died from a heart attack. Work cares only because if I didn,t show up it would screw up there schedule. Gosh I don,t know how I do it. Maby Iam not doing it

Dave