ahh umm (not going nuts here) inpired by other posts,comments yes,life sucks other people are having a time no grief or sorrow and here we are suffering a loss. I was at the kitchen sink preparing my luch for work and thought if I don,t do something to change my life I don,t know what to do.It wasn,t the greatest life when she was here but at least I had someone,someone I loved regardless of her "behavior"

Iam sure if you read some of my posts you,ll get the idea. After almost 4 months my denial used so much to get me through tough times is weaking. I have got to get off work tommorow and do something to break out of my slump .I have pyschological problems in accomplishing somethings because of fear of the outcome( failure,being critsized,imagining the outcome to be worst than it is etc etc) I feel for the loss of the many people here. It seems at times my whole life is being sucked down the garbage disposal,just how do you keep on going. I never seem to fillfull ideas to keep me going

More later