Yesterday at work I held a beautiful tiny baby girl in my arms, and my tears fell on to her little blanket. I remembered the days I had my own children. When they were babies I could protect them. This little baby smelled like love. I realized how blessed I have truly been. God blessed me with 4 beautiful babies that I cared for, protected, and loved. Even though I didn't get to keep 2 of them with me I am still grateful as ever that I had them for the time I did. Somedays the pain is as raw as the days they died, but mostly now I remember the joy, and the love that only those boys could've given me. So many memories. So much happiness. I sometimes wonder what I did to deserve so much love. Funny early on my journey I would wonder what I did to deserve so much pain, and sorrow. Well actually it's not funny, but I don't have another word for it! Anyway holding that precious little child reminded me of how far I have come from those first ugly years. I wish there was a way I could tell other moms that God does not do this to us, and that He loves us, and wants the best for us. Of course I didn't believe it at first either, but now I know how much God loves me. I also know that no matter what happens here on this earth my Lord, and Savior will always be near to comfort, and guide me. I count on Him every day, and I'm glad He's with me. Babies sure bring out the best in me! Used to be I couldn't stand being any where near children, but now they bring me joy! Love really does conquer all!