today its snowing, I know you hated the cold winters, when I went to see you today and saw your flowers covered in snow it broke my heart. I hope you are wrapped in moms arms  warm and safe. I ask everyday and night for you to come to my dreams and tell me you are happy, its been a year and 3 days and I have not had 1 dream, I miss you more each and everyday, I cry so much my eyes hurt everyday. I feel like im falling deeper and deeper, im begging you to grab my hand and take me with you, please shawn I cant go on much longer with out you. im so ready to go.  night god bless my beautiful son, forever loving you   mom