Well Good day! After reading my last post I must say, Shame on me! How pitiful the last post sounds. Now that's self pity! Sometimes i'm pretty good at it! Reading the last post is the reason why i'm grateful for this blog. When I write I realease the yucky bad stuff that enters my heart and my mind. There is no book to tell me how to deal with all of this, so I just have to do the best I can with what I learn from day to day. I dont like to read my pity posts, but I do because it's good for me to read them so I can learn from every emotion good or bad.

Ben's birthay came and went just like it does every year. I take a sigh of relief at this time because until October it's almost smooth sailing for the next few months. It seems like during this down time from all the death anniversaries, birthdays, etc. I feel a little less wound up.

I wrote about miracles last time and I I must've been in a nasty mood because I do believe in miracles  from God. Babies! Babies are miracles from God! When I look into the eyes of a small child I see the sparkle of God's miracle. Sometimes I don't see it because greif and sadness clouds my eyes and my heart. That's why I like to write. When I write I can let out things I can't normally talk about with anyone. Then when I reread what i've written I can see how I was feeling and I can change my mind about things. I've learned that when I talk to others when I feel bad I say things I really don't mean, atleast not the way it comes out. I know when I get on a roll words just flow out of my mouth. When I write I have to think enough to write without too many spelling errors! Anyway, life goes on. I must admit when I read the last post I laughed a bit. It was kinda funny too me! The best part of writing this blog is the relief I feel when I push the post icon. It's like when you finally fall asleep and stay asleep for more than a couple of hours! I wish Peace for every one!