frustrated today.  medical bills are coming in droves, doctors i've never heard of, for services that didn't work.  should be a survivor thing, if he dies you don't have to pay.   someone told me to pay nothing for 6 months, wait for everything to arrive then sort it out, what the insurance paid, what they didn't and what's still owed.  UGGGHHHH we've still about $50,000 from an amputation they deemed pre-existing 5 years ago when all of this first began.  Im sad that we struggled so hard to keep things paid so he would have the care he needed, and I'll probably have to file bankruptcy on it all anyway for our daughter and I to survive.

faced off with our storage unit today.  after jan. renial failure they told us a mini of 6 months rehab, we downsized to help pay for nursing home costs and stored so much.  now with him not coming home and his family nagging me for his 'stuff' im going to have to find the strength to tackle it.  so i opened the door...took out 3 boxes and 2 end tables.  took pictures of his power chair (almost brand new) and closed it back up.  dropped the stuff at goodwill on my way home and hopefully will find the courage sometime this week to list the chair/and it's trailer on craigs list.  my son said its worth a good chunk of money and since we still owe money on it, i'd better deal with it first

i can smell him in the unit, it feels wrong to go through his things so soon and give away anything.  i've paid the unit through the end of april.  if i can only 3 boxes a day, it'll get done in time.   his family will just' have to wait.  his sisters threatened a law suit if i don't move quick enough for her satisfaction, not sure they could do anything, but i can't stand dealing with her

wish we'd have discussed this stuff, but we both avoided it so well