my heart is so very heavy, so filled with pain. I miss shawn so much it hurts bad. my tears still fall so much, everyday. to go on is so imposible, im so filled with hate, to see people go on, so happy, laughing. there are times I just want to slap them, slap that smile off there face. scream for my son to come home, not to leave me. to pray for shawn to come get me, I want nothing more than to go with him. I hate living, I just hate. I beg  shawn please help me, im getting no answer.my only child went away and im here alone, empty, and wanting so much every day to die.  that's all I think about any more, just let me die please .