Many years ago, my husband and I were visiting Spain, and, after arriving at our hotel, I was exhausted. My husband decided to take a walk and said he would be back in about 30 minutes. After an hour passed, he still had not come back. I started to be mildly panicked. After two hours passed, I was almost in hysterics; I didn't know what to do - should I call the police, notify the hotel, what? I, in my panic, just sat on the bed and sobbed and sobbed. All of a sudden the door opened and my husband returned saying he had gotten lost and forgot the name of the hotel. A taxi driver got him back.
I remember lying on the bed next to him and holding him for at least an hour; I had been so lost and in such despair with the thoughts of losing him. I was so grateful that I had him back.
Well, I lost him in October, 2015 for real! I cannot tell you how much my life has changed! He left and I was put into this NEW ugly, sad, lonely life. I now live in a smaller house, have new neighbors, and a new pattern of living. I hate this new life! I feel like I was snatched out of my old, happy, contented, loving life to this. Why? Is it some kind of test? All I know is that I am nearing the end of my life at 76, and I want the Lord to have mercy and take me home.
This new life is not for me, and I will never learn to adapt to it. I want my husband back since he is the only thing that made my world worth living. I keep telling God that he can give whatever years I have left to someone who wants to stay here on this earth.
I want my old life, someone else can have this one with my blessings.