I slept almost 8 hours last night, that's the most since my wife died.  I just used the word "died" I have been avoiding it, instead usually choosing something else.  I guess other words don't define the finality of the event in my mind as much as the word "died".  

Last night for several hours, I did not feel too bad and attributed it to letting everything out in my car.  That may not have been the cause.  The second doctor I saw gave me some "Lyrica" to help with the discomfort in my legs.  I took one of the pills when I got in my car, usually I read up on any drug I take before I take it.  However yesterday I questioned the doctor about it telling him I did not want to end up addicted to a pain killer and he assured me it was relatively non addictive.

Anyhow late last night I read up on "Lyrica" and found out it is also used to treat  anxiety and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  It's also a schedule V drug and I can not take it in my line of work.  No wonder I did not feel too bad.  The last thing I want is to get hooked on some narcotic as a result of my wifes passing.  So no more "Lyrica" and back to the pain of reality that my life has become.

I think I am going to go out in my garage and sit in my car and let it out, just on the chance that it was the cause of feeling somewhat better last night and not the Lyrica.