This morning I tried scream therapy.  I went out into my detached garage before my son woke and let out everything.  I thought it might help, it didn't. 

I spoke with my sister on the phone for about an hour and a half, that usually helps, but not today.

Went for a long walk with my son in the park, under blue skies, felt a little less bad.  I guess that's something.

Took my son to a bakery we both like and bought few cookies took them to Starbucks and had a coffee. Caffeine and sugar ineffective.

Spoke with a family friend this evening.  Apparently she new alcohol had become a problem for my wife again several months ago.  I was a fool, I did not know.  Talking with her did not help, felt stupid.

Posted some photos of my wife from when things were good, made the longing and loneliness worse.

Read a beautiful by poem by MarieSte, it was touching, thank you.

Feeling the evening numbness coming on, I guess I have exhausted the neurotransmitters in my brain from all emotional angst today.

Cheryl, I miss you dearly.

I will never understand your destructive relationship with alcohol or why you made such a tragic choice to abandon us 4 weeks ago.  

Sadness, confusion, emotional exhaustion......