morgan

I can totally identify with the sudden unexpected loss of your husband.  It was like reading what happened to us.  He was told to monitor his sugar and had days he would really feel sick.  Some of his blood work came back with elevated white cell counts and Dr. would just say it was probably a flu or bug of some sort.  By the time we found out - he had stage 4 cancer and we were in absolute disbelief.  He was with this Dr. for 10 plus years and all we could think was How did this happen?  How was this not noticed somehow? Worst part was we were given false hope all the way through his therapy.  Even the oncologist was holding back information from us so that he could treat according to his decisions.  It was so bad that we NEVER said our goodbyes to each other, never spoke of our lives together.  We didn't want to give each other the idea we were giving up.  By the time the end came, he couldn't speak and wasn't aware of things.  It was to late. Within 3 months of our normal life - it was over.  The worst part is that I feel like it was my fault - that I failed him because I couldn't fix this for him the way we always fixed things for each other. I knew he was terrified, but holding on to what ever morsel the doctor gave him as hope.  I moved within 2 months of his death.  I am finding I don't have any trust in doctors at all.  Just went through a scare myself with pancreatic cancer - okay so far. Go later this month for followup.  I also know I carry the BRCA genes that took my sister.  How do you trust after what I consider the doctors fault to begin with.  I've been a basket case before each appointment and lost weight because of nerves.  What do you do? Where do you go?  

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Comment by Jan on November 28, 2016 at 7:11am

Michael that about covers it.  I just don't know with all I have going on myself where to go.  I don't trust them but at the same time, I need them.  That sucks!

Comment by Jan on November 28, 2016 at 7:08am

I tried to get his doctor's records and was told I couldn't because the P.O.A. ended when he died.  I certainly would have talked to a lawyer if I had those records - in fact I tried but was told they would need his records.  I don't have the kind of money to fight to try to make sure this didn't happen to one of the other patients in his care.

Comment by ShingingLight1967 on November 27, 2016 at 8:25pm

I am so sorry for your loss.

You know, almost a year after the loss of my husband, I am still trying to come to terms with how none of his doctors ever discovered he had heart disease.  He collapsed because of 90% blockage in two of his arteries. How did his cardiologist NOT see this?  He had a cardio that was treating him for AFib. Earlier in the year, they did a cardio version on him to try and get him back to a normal sinus rhythm.  They did ultra sounds on him and never once thought that maybe it was due to heart disease.

He had another cardio before the last one, that never put him on a treadmill for a stress test. I have had 6 for hypertension.

He had to be cleared by a cardiologist for his rotator cuff surgery.  There was no catch. He was an insulin dependent diabetic, who wore a pump, who took meds for his cholesteral and high blood pressure and no doctor put him on a treadmill???

He had a family history of heart disease.

But then again, I wonder if maybe my husband wasnt completely honest with me, and they did want him to do a stress test, and he just didnt do it.

Comment by Michael on November 27, 2016 at 6:53pm
So sorry for your loss. Doctors suck.

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