More bad news

Death has become like just another every day thing to me.  My gran has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer.  She is 82 and decided not to receive treatment.  Doctors don't think she will live to see next year.  In 2009 my other gran died, in 2010 my dad died, and in 2011 my mom died.  I have become "numb" at the idea of death.  It is part of life and one day I will go too.  I am 26 and only having a younger sister left as my close family, I am getting paranoid that something will happen to her too, leaving me as the survivor of our family.  All my close family members are gone besides her and my gran who has now come to terms with her illness and fate.  She said she wants to see my dad again, her oldest son who passed away in 2010.  Now I feel so like I am being abandoned, left here on earth alone with no parental figures.  They go to heaven and here I stay, alone, having to look after myself and my sister.  And all I think is, okay, there is nobody else left.  Next it is either me or my sister.  Very morbid to think about, but it is the truth.  Life is cruel :(

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Comment by irwin Dresner on August 13, 2012 at 3:33pm

HI Nicole,  sorry to hear about the deaths, My wife passed away almost 3 years ago and i been living in total grief.    My son dropped of my grandchildren at my home.  I am suppost to fly with them to florida to be with my daughters.    I should be very happy but I am in total grief, the worse that i ever suffered.  i am trying to hide it from them but its getting worse.  we have the tickets and i do not want to back out and disapoint them but I cannot understand this bad grief.   I pray that you feel better.   I found out that it is not easy.   irwin   

Comment by Kylie Loraine McCallum on August 13, 2012 at 4:44am
Hi nicole.. I am not able to sleep and this made me so sad to see.. I am so Sorry for all your losses I cant imagine. My 17 year old brother died 17 days after my grandma died in a freak accident. I feel so numb and no motivation to go on with life..but we both have toand even tho u feel alone u wilk meet a guy and have kids of ur own one day and not feek so alone i cant imagine I am making u feel too much better but I'm here to talk and life is so very cruel.
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