Death has become like just another every day thing to me.  My gran has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer.  She is 82 and decided not to receive treatment.  Doctors don't think she will live to see next year.  In 2009 my other gran died, in 2010 my dad died, and in 2011 my mom died.  I have become "numb" at the idea of death.  It is part of life and one day I will go too.  I am 26 and only having a younger sister left as my close family, I am getting paranoid that something will happen…

Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there; I did not die.

The other day was a bad day at work and I ended up crying in the office bathroom, longing to just talk to my parents and gran (i called her ouma) one more time.  I heard a car stop outside the office and I imagined it was them coming to fetch me for the day.  I tried to imagine what it would be like if God let my parents leave heaven and come visit me one day, just to tell me things will be okay and that they love me and are looking down at me from heaven.  I left the bathroom with red eyes…

God looked around his garden

And He found an empty place

He then looked down upon this earth

And saw your loving face.

He put His arms around you

And lifted you to rest

God's garden must be beautiful

He always takes the best.

He knew that you were suffering

He knew you were in pain

He knew that you would never

Get well on earth again.

He saw that the road was getting…