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what I would give to hold you and kiss you, this time of year I hurt even more, I remember how you love x mas but with out you I just cant do it any more. so many tears I have cryed, and praying you will come get me, my beautiful son how can I go on with this unbearable pain, how does my family smile and be so happy knowing im dieing inside, please shawn help me get through this holiday, help me to dream of you, with out you theres nothing left, I wish my heart would stop beating, I wish I could be with you. I love you with every part of me and I miss you more then words can say, I pray you will come home, I pray you will hold me and please let me hear MOM again, im waiting for you shawn help me please, forever mom
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In 9 days it will be two years ago that I took my husband to the ER where two days later he was diagnosed with stage four cancer…….Getting through last year was terrible. I thought maybe this year would be better. Not so. I am immobilized. I just finished ordering Xmas sausage that he loved and used to send to his 92 year old mother and cried so hard on the phone and then hung up and wailed. So hard I fell asleep. My body is taking a beating and I am glad. Sooner the better this is all over. I seriously have no idea how long a body can hold out under this kind of constant stress but if 30 lb weight loss, no appetite and fatigue are indications maybe I won't have to endure for a long time. I can hope.
I totally understand. Had a complete meltdown today...sending hugs
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