Life Suc can't bond with my son

Right now no matter what I do everything seems to be wrong when it comes to my son trying to deal with this also and it is a big thing for him so I am trying to do special things. Today I made reservations for horseback riding (which I love and am experienced) and he wanted to do for the first time finally. After I made the redervations he was happy for a while but then it was right bacj to yelling at me and hittting himself in the face making me feel like the worst mother in the world. I just try and try but everything seems to some out wrong. I put everything I have into him- only to get a broken heart in return and no one to comfort me anymore. So- as I said life sucks.

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