I was trying to think what to tell my therapist.( I frigging hour to do this) ahh "your the only one preventng me from blowing out my brains"( don,t own a gun) !! Iam not sure if I want to go to a support group . I would lay on my couch all day if given the chance. Iam stuffing my face with pasta as Iam typing this.My upper back hurts. However back to step one or two .I really need to get out and talk to someone.Getting drunk is not the answer.I have forgotton to take my welbutin(anti depresent) thats not the answer either. 

However I have a lot to do, throwing out old stuff.I have a lot of ideas on how to fix up the house now she is gone .

Don,t get me wrong ,I have flashbacks of my life with my wife.The god awful times I spent in the hosp keep cropping up.

As anyone here Iam sure can tell you there are periods or what ever hits you of sadness depression and grieving.However I tell myself keep moving .I don,t see a period of adjustment ,where you pick up the pieces and move on anytime soon

Dave