A note fell out onto the carpet today, and it was left behind by my mother, it reads, “when we focus all our time on grief, we lost out on our present and our future; instead of dwelling on what we are losing, focus on what we still have” I felt like I was receiving a sign from my mother that I should not dwell in my grief at all times. It makes sense my mother wrote it, because she lived her life fully till the end.

Being diagnosed with stage four cancer did not subvert my mom’s identity and her unconditional care and love for her children. It’s easy to type “unconditional love”, but only certain lucky souls in life have received this gift of love that can only be originated from mothers. Even when my mother was under immense physical pain and cancer has debilitated her body, she demonstrated her empathy and compassion time and time again as I struggled with my anticipatory grief. (Anticipatory grief is the normal mourning that occurs when a patient or family is expecting a death.)

My mother taught me how to live and die with love. I am so blessed and grateful to have my mother, who will forever be connected to my heart and soul in eternity.