Michael's mom passed away today. The loss of him was too much for her. And so I've lost another. This is the second time in my life I've had back to back losses. My dad and husband died less than two months apart in early 2001, widowing my mom and I at the same time. Now Michael and Alice (mom). My existence at this point is beyond comprehension. And Michael's poor brother! His dad, brother, and mom in less than 3 months! His entire family-gone! Just like that! I've lost my entire family too, but over several years. My grief is killing me...what's he supposed to do? My heart goes out to him; and all the poor people in Haiti who have lost their entire family all at once. I don't know how they are not giving up. I think I died years ago; June 1st,1985, when the (young) man I wanted to spend my life with died in an auto accident. I know I've never really gotten over that. Then 5 more between 1990 and 2001. When my mom died in '05, I aged 20 years. That one really hurt too. Now Michael and "mom". My head is bursting with pain. My heart is collapsed. I have nothing left to give. Nothing left to do. No reason why. I am depleted; lost; broken.
Courtney Rice