What is a perfect love? Is there such a thing? Does it require anything special to hold on to it? What does it feel like, and can that feeling be maintained for a lifetime? Of course, I do not have the answers, but as usual, I have my opinions. I think there are so many kinds of love that a perfect love to me is one that I needed at a particular point in life.

For instance, having been married for so long, Barb’s love for me was perfect. It provided a base, security, a great family, and, most important, a feeling of belonging. Were things perfect? Well, probably not, but I would imagine we could all say that. It was a “perfect” love for me in the cosmic sense of things. When you lose that perfect love, you find yourself asking whether you will ever be able to find the glove that will fit so well again. Then it dawns on you that you have the rest of your life to fill. So, you start looking, even though it might only be subconscious. After all, you found the “perfect love” once; why not again?

The problem is the definition of perfect. I think it can be confusing and unnecessary to expect perfection. I think humans want to put labels on things, which is why we are always looking for perfection. Why not just expect a relationship to be perfect for the moment, and if it is not perfect at some point in the future, so be it? If you are really waiting for perfection, then you might miss something that could have been important for your growth. You could also be transferring your definition onto some unsuspecting soul who wants nothing more than to be loved. Life is too short for what I call the “second life” to be hung up on comparisons to your past. Of course, mistakes will be made. Pain will definitely be present. But allowing yourself to be open to the possibilities of life, in the long run, will only bring the realization that there is life after death.

 So, what I suggest is to allow yourself to take the chance and use your “second life” to search, enjoy, and just be who you need to be. In other words, be perfect to yourself.

Being at Peace

The call of the bird at night,

the lone star in the sky,

require so little,

to hear and see.

The dog barks with no one yelling,

the light shines in the face of the walker.

Be still and use the senses.

The rustle of the leaves under the feet,

the garage door opening and closing,

without a care of the fast-paced world.

Enter the space that is inside of you.

Expect nothing.

Sense everything.

Feel the love within yourself.

Being at peace, no matter where you are,

is a gift you deserve.