After so many days and nights in this internal struggle to LIVE in this body and mind that more resembled a world war, being mty body the place and my soul the victim. Only echos of hurt propagating this waves of internal constand struggle. I removed myself from a lot of things, so I could sort out what was internal and triggers and just finding peace was a hard enough JOB. And out there more crap to my crap when craptometer is already running on overload. TODAY I FEEL ALRIGHT. First day in a while I woke up catching myself in an OK mood. Not bad, not good. MIND is CALM. What´s different. The lens I see the world from. I don´t see the world as FRIEND or ENEMY just whatever it is. Not what I want to be, hoped, wished for...just LET IT BE and LET MYSELF BE. Though this day would never come. There was a holiday here in the last 4 days. I did not go out, or hang out. I just slept and took it easy. Heard a lot of music and fed my music channels. Used the social media that makes a positive contribution to my well being, namely the journal here or blog, G+ which I interact globally and mantain a channel of music and well being, my linkedin where I have work peers worldwide in my specialty as I prepare some level of getting back after my own illness, and facebook where I interact with the music groups from Europe. And prepared some material to do some work here and then in translations and English private lessons some friends are asking to do. All these things however mpower and don´t take ny of my peace away, the interaction is in the shape and form that is not one to one and in the energy flow that is in music and posts that make the soul feel loved and cared for. This level of LOVE or unconscious universe exchange of good deeds and healing. And I slept LOTS. It started out by waking up and interruptions from fireworks, but all in all, was getting better. Finally I resort in not interacting much, or keeping to the minimum I am assured to be POSITIVE and KIND to myself...with family and friends. Everyone else and people that I like or dislike that are closer, I put them in a good mental space sending love and letting go. Whatever and however comes or goes, time will tell what space they truly belong in my life. NOW I AM LIVING IN A GOOD MENTAL SPACE MYSELF. A place that just IS, with no need to push, pull, drag, or else. Took a while and I am sure this place has to be worked on to expand to the world my own EXISTANCE, my own LIGHT has to radiate outwards in shapes and forms I want the energy exchange and is beneficial. But FIRST THINGS FIRST, finding it MYSELF. Wasn´t easy, but there is something to be said about what works for me, as an introvert I NEED THIS MENTAL SPACE to work my mind to process things in a higher analytical form that most would not understand in a million years, because JUST MAKES SENSE TO ME and I don´t need to live and tell. Telling is an option, sharing is something I can appreciate when and where for the great JOY in it. Not for attention from all the wrong people and places. LIFE....is GOOD again. Fe in God this day finally ARRIVED. It´s a KEEPER.