Healing is not about fighting feelings. I think the more we fight them the more neglected they become and come back worse and in ways that makes for a poor outles to say the least. These feelings cannot be neglected, and yet cannot be just discarted. THey have to be DEALTH with. In the realms of HEALING, we must recoup enough to no longer need them....to be able to let go, detach. It´s so much easier said than done. Some we think we are done with return from the dead given triggers and circunstances which drives the mind right THERE and raise from the dead to relive. And we think...what now? Wholy crap, how to delete for good? Well there isn´t that option. We aren´t computers. The best we can do is find what things, people, and whatever works to rescue from the dumps. The HEALING CURVE. There is much in the literature about griefing stages. But not about what works for us to FLOW faster and better BETEEN THEM, to OVERCOME easier so that we can face life in the fullest and not BY AVOIDANCE. Avoiding is ok for the time it takes to get the hang of it. And to heal enough to learn to pick just enough fights out there we can mantain progress with minimum impacts of sretbacks. It´s like builting a BULLRT PROOF VEST while everyone out there has a gun and don´t even know when they are shooting our feelings down. And it´s not their job anyway to protect our feelings, it´s our own. Mind you, some jerks out there deserve the good kick that my sharp mind and tongue make sounds more like a great trip one way to the moon. but it´s not my sport to send them there. Just do it so they remain in this safe distance. In my case, when I use bad names you can bet you crossed the line 100 times and I want the kick of a lifetime to keep yself far from that to happen anytime soon. But kicking really is ENERGY badly allocated. Instead of moving myself FORWARD, here I am loading with my own gasoline the trip one way to the moon, and that fuel will be missing to move on with my life. Basicallyt by letting people steal peace, they still part of us we HIGHLY need and is HARD to get and harder to KEEP. May take hours or days to get back and actively recognizing the timing and steps that worked and repeat hoping the HEALING curve and resources for that hasn´t changed, since we get numb of overusing the same measures to get out the holes. And eventually need more power to fuel our own ways out.