today my doctor and grieving counceiler both came today at the same time. 23 months today and all I can do is cry. I have a frozen shoulder and torn muscel in my arm. she also put me on more pills to help me sleep and deal with my depression, up to 9 now at night and 5 in the morning. I miss shawn so much, its just to hard and pain full to keep going on, day after day the pain is still there and nothng will ever help. thanks giving is sunday and I picked a few things up for shawn then I remembered and had to put them back. it took everything I had not to cry in the store. im living in hell  every day. without my son  im so empty, I have begged god, shawn and my mom to come get me, let me hold my shawn again, dear god let me hear him say mom I love you again please. someone anyone please please help me.  I love you shawn always and forever   mom