I never realized that I would be faced with so many "events" to cope with when she died.  Making the funeral arrangements, doing the visitation, then the funeral itself, those were the obvious things.  But then came the REAL challenges. 

First, what do I do with all her stuff?  Reading through other folks' posts, it appears many people could wait before they started dealing with the loved one's stuff.  But I didn't have much choice.  She had become a hoarder with respect to clothes, the entire house was absolutely filled with her clothes.  I got lucky here, after I got home from the funeral I got a routine phone call from a local charity that she had occassionally given stuff to--they would be coming through in a couple of days, did I have anything they could pick up? (and no they did not know of her passing!)  I filled up 50 large trash bags--the 39 gallon size--with her clothes, it took hours and hours to put the clothes in the bags.  I kept just a few clothes for keepsakes (now several weeks later I wonder sometimes if I should've kept more, but what for?)   Doing the clothes so quickly worked out well for me, because I had to get the living room and hallways and bathroom cleared out.  The first few days after the funeral I was still numb so it was possible to do the clothes.

Still though the house had lots of her stuff. I made a "first pass" through drawers and cabinets maybe the second week after she died but of course I couldn't begin to get everything.  Then the numbness wore off, and finding simple things would bring back memories and sobs.

Her dad's 80th  birthday was two weeks after she died and a big family get-together had been planned.  Getting through that day was tough.  Then a week later was HER birthday, which of course was extremely tough for me, followed by the next day which had a private significance for me (and of course that was tough). Two weeks later came Valentine's Day which was downright brutal. But that day also held another marker of my grief, for I had decided that after Valenttine's Day I would no longer go to the cemetery every day.  My emotions really spilled out that day, and I realized that not only was I griving for her, I was grieving for giving up a phase of my grieving (the going to the grave every day phase).  I hope that makes sense.

Today marked another significant day.  She was so proud of her SUV which she had bought new many years back. Now came time  to sell it to recoup part of the funeral costs.  I struggled for days with the emotional distress of cleaning the car out, but finally got it ready to go today.  Took it to the big nationwide chain that advertises on TV, and they gave it a surprisngly high value despite all the abuse it had been given.  I pulled it ito the building, and they drove it around the corner out of sight...another sad reminder of the finality of her death.  I am relieved the vehicle is gone, for I could barely look at it in my driveway, but yet I am so sad.