Missing more than one.

My sister had me join this blog so that I could get some emotions out without burdening complete strangers, which I do often.

So here I go again. I feel like I lost more than my father I lost my mother as well. My mom has always worked and my father was the one who raised us. My mom had trouble relating to us, becasue of severe anxiety. SO my dad filled both roles at home. Now that he is gone it is apparent how little we actually had of our mother and now what remains is just an empty shell. There was so much life and love when my dad was here, now nothing exists in that house but  painful silence.

I can't bear it, I feel orphaned, so alone.

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Comment by Crystal Ann Spaulding on April 11, 2011 at 12:46pm
Yes we do need to put our family together again. Sometimes it just seems such a hard road. I find that I want to hide instead of trying. like I did this weekend.
Comment by Marian Johnson on April 10, 2011 at 2:35pm
Beautifully put sister. I feel the same and hoping that through time we will be able to piece back together what we have left of the family that we have now. I will always be there for all of you and slowly we will all heal.

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My mom died 4 months ago

My mom had pulmonary fibrosis. She was sick for a few years. It was funny how when my grandmother smoked, my mom would always say-I’m gonna die from second hand smoke. My mom never smoked. She died from lung disease. Ironic.I was fine at the funeral. Planning. Talking to everyone. I thought u handled it great. Now 4 months later, I’m a mess. Some days I’m perfectly fine, but others I can’t walk down the street without crying. I keep thinking that I haven’t talked to her in a while & I…See More
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My dad was the best human I’ve ever known.
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