There's never a day that goes by that I don't think about my wife, even after 16 years now(next month), some would expect me to be contemplating suicide yet I made a pact with her that I wouldn't as a promise to her. However, there's this odor, for lack of a more logical expression, that I can't ignore that seems to be coming from within me I can't get rid of. It's the same fragrance she had in her hair , it was so unique which led me to believe there was no shampoo…

It has not even been a week since her passing and today being a holiday to spend with family and loved ones giving thanks for ones blessings... As I sit in my home alone reflecting on my life and my many losses I can cry a river of tears and easily feel the need to retreat to a dark place . I am not gonna let myself do that ... My mother , all my grandparents, brother, aunts, uncle ,cousins, friends and beloved pets who have passed on would not want that for me. 

Sure I let myself…

Life is getting easier, now that I've come to terms with the fact that I've still got one. My kids are coping, and I'm coping. We've started picking up the pieces by just bending over and doing it!

I've got school and employment in the pipeline, I've started repairing my credit so we can someday buy a house. I've started reinstating my authority with my children and acting as head of household. We have our bills paid, we have food in the kitchen, and we have lots of time in…