It has been 15 months since my daughter Denise has passed away. I wake up every morning and wanting to call her like we did every day. She was so full of life and she had everything going for her.She left behind two beautiful  young children.   Denise died of E-Coli. She was not aware that this poison was in her system, while Septic shock  spread  throughout her body very quickly and shut down all her organs,  Denise lived in California ,  while I lived in Florida. so I was not aware how bad…

My identity is intertwined with being a good daughter to my mother because she sacrificed  everything to me  and her selflessness  is what motivated to go  on living. My mother was an immigrant  who left her family and her  role as a housewife  to come to Canada and provide a better future for her children. After the divorce, she worked harder than anyone else I know in order  to provide a life for myself and my brother.  She had  no choice but to be strong and determined  without a husband…

I guess this blog may seem out of order or confusing.. but I was here before. I was trying to be stronger than I am. I was trying to seize moment and embrace this community, and be supportive but it wasn't working out. So I took some time away and now I am back again...

Tonight I am feeling volatile, and bitter, hurt, angry, lost, depressed, hopeless and these are not typical "Mandy" feelings.  I have always been an optimist, always believed in looking forward and…